swallow me

watery.

thick.

fingers cutting through
the liquid mold of you.

air, if any, is left for me to breathe
and the ocean of your magnificence

in whole.

swallow me.

Not a poem

I need to start writing again.
words never came easy.

I worry all the time.
Spent hours lurking self help "life purpose" sites
gets you dizzy.

In the morning the repetition begins...
wake, coffee, work, lunch, work, work, work, home.
Maybe ill stop to run an errand or
hit the gym on the way home.
Then start it over again.

I used to dream big.
as a child lies flew my way.
"believe in yourself and the road is paved."
bullshit.

Opportunity NOW does not come easy
and chasing and chasing and dedication...
doesn't seem to change a thing.
Just struggle, blood, tears.
Cry out to someone, anyone who'd hear.

embrace me.
im yearning.
this artist inside
this pain is seeping to the outside.
where's my medium...
the escape.

just two black holes
stare back from the mirror
an unrecognizable.
face.

The Widow.

Spring has arrived!
warm encounters
vanish swiftly
with the chill of night.

Girls in their Easter dresses
walking flowers
bright pink, yellow and green.

And none of this matters to me.

On with the routine of waking
coffee stained teeth
monkey suited
Alas! The white collar dream!

Living for the weekend
friends sharing brew
and
ladies in their finest
dancing
to a popular tune.

I am genuinely happy.

Then the Alarm sounds!
Senses act as reminders
the lingering is my hell.

Closed eyes
breathing into
a shirt to sleep with
and pillows pretending
to be him.

All the songs I can't listen to
hundreds bring on the tears.
His ghost still lives here.

A Unified Soul.
No midnight stranger
could ever compare
to the depth
we once shared.

Am I able to forget
with the passing of days?
Will his infectious smile
ever be gone from my mind?

Faith and belief.
They chant out to me.
Learn from the good
of your unity
and trust your future
in the hands of the universe.
What will be, will be.

underwater

Don't stand so close!
to the edge that is
watching friends fall
from cliff to water
friend or foe may not have been at all.

Amidst the waves
empty shells
remain
of turtles that have died.


D e e p

dark water
the thickest fog
makes a perfect veil
for mourners

we may never breathe again
together.

We swim holding hands
parallel lines
cutting through silk.

confide and trust that i will save you
from your drowning.
the ocean is large
and hearts cannot have fear.

i will be there through every shake
and sing the siren's song
to comfort you
i will follow along.